Dateline: Midwinter – Oceanside, CA – by Bob Kiger
To: Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger,
I’ll trade you a broadcast quality copy of this rare 1981 music video of the Chuck McDermott Band rehearsing “Maria”, which they wrote for your lovely wife, for your support in the “Pump Up America” campaign, beginning right here in California.
The American people like to clamor about unemployment, and yet when it comes to hard choices that provide solutions, I’m not sure that they are rowing their ship of state in the same direction. Here’s one simple fast and proven way to create millions of jobs for young people and older folks across our great land that could be done with a wave of President Obama’s left hand over an Executive Order that read:
“In order to provide immediate jobs across America, it is hereby ordered that all gas stations be attendant serviced and that self-serve gasoline, while still an option for consumers, will not be discounted . . . thereby creating millions of jobs in the USA!”
Two states in the union, New Jersey and Oregon, have such laws on the books and they seem to be managing quite well. Every Pemex station in Mexico is attendant served and they’re also doing quite well.
As we write this, a few thousand business people are jumping out of their cars in freezing rain and getting their clothes soaked and full of gasoline fumes as they self-serve on their way to work. Pump attendants allow customers to stay cozy warm in their vehicles or to make a quick pit stop in the convenience store of many stations. This increases profitability for station owners. Attendants can also move traffic through stations in a more orderly manner, which increases the amount of gas pumped per hour. By these two measures alone, the attendants will go a long way toward paying for their jobs.
We are talking about modest paying jobs, but to an out of work student or a senior who’s trying to live off a diminished pension, these jobs can make a great impact on their lives. Even if we had to spend a nickel a gallon more for gas, would it not be worth it to foster employment in our communities?. There are gas stations spread all across the land and many run 24 hours per day. That’s 21 shifts per week or over 4 full time jobs per set of pumps. Manning the pumps will also promote technological and marketing innovations to improve service. Such innovations are in the American DNA.
I remember as a teenager, that my first job was as a full service attendant at a Chevron Station. I went out of my way to be helpful, by washing windows and checking tires, oil and battery. And I got tipped for my trouble. Nowadays just quick service and scraping ice or bugs off the windshield should garner a bit of a tip. I also recall from my teenage days the Drive through Dairies, where motorists could quickly obtain fresh milk, bread, fruits and other staples. The business model for gasoline stations could be radically changed if attendants took care of the dirty, smelly job of dispensing petroleum into our cars and let us multi-task the precious minutes while our motor vehicles are being refueled.
So we ask vidiots everywhere to rally to the cause and support our imaginary “Executive Order” Let’s take one quick step to creating millions of jobs by summer of this year. Let’s Pump up America! . . . and as my grandma used to say There’s “no buts about it”.
I end on that note because the usual vidiocy of pundits, comes after the word “but . . . ” Grandma had it right IMO.
Dateline: Oceanside, California
by Bob Kiger, Videography Lab
It’s Super Bowl week and America [and to a lesser degree the world] is poised and ready to see the battle between the NFC champion New Orleans Saints and the AFC champion Indianapolis Colts. In addition they will watch the corporate world put on it’s “fashion show” of latest trendy and often humorous commercials.
Never mind that there is little to be funny about in the ravaged economy of America in the year 2010, but . . . “the games must go on!”.
Traditionally Super Bowl commercial watchers rate the “Best Ads” of the individual championship game or more often “Best Super Bowl Ads of All Time“. Note: This is just one list of Top Ten. There are many more.
This piqued our interest because we have some history with Super Bowl ad campaigns. So we decided to hit the link “Discuss on Newsvine: Which was worst?”
To our surprise the Newsvine Headline read: “When Super Bowl ads go bad – the most damaging ones of all time” which broadened the topic substantially from “10 Worst”. For one thing it opened up the possibility that any given Super Bowl commercial could be creative, technically excellent, innovative, funny, entertaining, sad, etc. and still be damaging to the sponsor, the viewers or the whole Earth!
“Most damaging” is pretty broad language, so, after viewing the 10 spots in the original MSNBC article and reading all the comments in the Newsvine we made comment based on our personal experience of Super Bowl ads:
“You surely missed the most damaging Superbowl ad of all time. It was a “live” taste test for Schlitz Brewing called “The Great American Beer Switch”. “Starring” referee Tommy Bell, it aired on January 25, 1981 and was a total disaster. Schlitz quickly disappeared as a brand after being the “Great American Beer” since 1902. I’m thinking of making a music video about the whole story, featuring Jerry Lee Lewis’ 1968 song, “What’s Made Milwaukee Famous, [Made a Loser Out of Me]. My company produced the spot. It changed my life!”
Of course this is just my opinion so we thought it would be reasonable to provide the back story on how/why “The Great American Beer Test” or “Great American Beer Switch” [they called it both] was so damaging.
It was the summer of 1980 and the Videography Studios was doing brisk business and garnering it’s share of Monitor, IBA and Clio nominations and awards. Word came in from our Chicago producer/sales rep that we were in consideration for a big campaign for the Super Bowl. Details were so hush-hush that he didn’t even know the sponsors name.
His contact was Marty Levin, a senior producer for J.Walter Thompson – Chicago, who had recently moved to JWT from Leo Burnett. As details gathered we learned that the ad campaign involved “live” commercials to be aired during the AFC Playoffs and the Super Bowl. Marty had been at Leo Burnett early in the 1970s when their client, Sears lawnmowers, ran live “pull the cord to start the lawnmower” commercials in major sporting events. [I called Leo Burnett today to see if Marty Levin had a direct role in the production of those early "live" commercials. No answers yet.]
As it turned out, Videography was awarded a six figure commercial contract to produce “live” spots for Schlitz Brewing Company, “the beer that made Milwaukee famous” with production to be done from a set to be built in California and shipped to New Orleans to a location near the Louisiana Superdome. The set construction had to be big enough to hold 100 beer drinkers plus a server for each drinker, and a computer/mechanical interface of “switches” that looked like beer taps.
Loyal Michelob, Miller and Budweiser drinkers were being interviewed to see if they would like to participate in a blind taste test between the new Schlitz formulation against their favorite beer and than flip the Switch to the stein of brew that tasted best.
It was a bold, highly complicated and technical campaign for the times. Network executives were concerned that some nut-ball could jump up in the middle of the spot and say or do something nasty. This was before the days of digital delays, so our solution was to record the spot on one giant 2″ longitudinal video tape recorder and than do a special spooling with the tape going through midair to a second 2″ longitudinal video tape recorder which was playing back to the network feed. In the middle of these 2 giant tape recorders sat a “censor” armed with a pair of scissors If something, like say a “Wardrobe Malfunction” occurred than the censor would cut the tape on the spot and the network would switch to a backup generic Schlitz commercial. Pretty wild and crazy stuff!
So, having solved the legal/technical concerns and passing other agency criteria, Videography Studios was awarded the campaign and we immediately commissioned a set design company to begin construction of the three tier set and computer.
A few days later I received an urgent call from JWT, I believe it was Marty Levin, stating that Schlitz had decided on an aggressive lead-in campaign to build interest in their “Great American Beer Test” and that we had to shoot a promotional commercial in very short order, on the set, featuring Tommy Bell, former NFL referee, who was hired as spokesperson and Frank Sellinger, master brewer and president of Schlitz. [Note: It has been 28 years since these events transpired so I am assuming that the voice from JWT ordering the promo spot was Marty Levin. If anyone can add first hand detail to this account, please make comment]
I told Marty on the phone that the set had barely reached design drawing which had not yet been approved and that nothing was yet under construction. “Put something together” was his reply and so we scrambled to get some semblance of the giant set under construction for the Super Bowl event. We were able to get a facsimile of the set ready for the rushed promo spot, which I produced and directed.
The commercial was shot on location at the set builder’s studio in Van Nuys, California. By any accounts it was a good looking fake set. We used old industrial hanging lamps to throw pools of light in the background and had a welder popping away to give the spot some sizzle. There were some complaints that the pizza served at lunch was not the greatest. Oh well!
Frank Sellinger and Tommy Bell did their parts well and it seemed like a good shoot…until I called for a “Wrap” at 5:00PM. Just than, there was a murmuring among some of our crew members as they broke out their post-shoot Schlitz beers to toast the day. The logo on our set was slightly different than the real Schlitz logo. Hell…it was dramatically different! The set logo had the Schlitz name inside a rectangle, while the REAL Schlitz logo was nested inside a parallelogram. There was a hush among everybody. Frank Sellinger got red faced and turned toward me with a look of disgust that I will never forget. Press the key frames below to see the complete spot.
We had no time to get the large “Schlitz” logo on the set repaired and re-shoot the entire commercial, so it was agreed that “we’d fix it in post” Videography was among the best Ultimatte companies in the world at the time, but we did not have the [traveling matte] technology to key a correctly shaped logo over the botched logo on dolly shots, and editorial review of every frame of dailies revealed that we did not have enough static footage to cover the whole spot. So all we could “fix” was the final punch line, where Frank says: “Wait til they taste my Schlitz”.
As anybody in the advertising business knows when something goes wrong, somebodies head goes on the chopping block. In this instance it was my head. I was “retired” as director of the Schlitz spots, but did get to spend time in New Orleans scouting the warehouse location for the set, which was getting ready to transport by train. From this location several AFC Playoff “live” spots, [Schlitz vs. Michelob] [Schlitz vs. Budweiser] and the Super Bowl Spot [Schlitz vs. Michelob] were shot. Schlitz was so proud of the results that they ran full advertorial pages in college papers, designed to look like news. Here’s one from the Cornell “Daily Sun”.
Other Videography Studio producers and directors did a great job of holding the project together. I was given 2 tickets to Maui so I could watch the AFC Playoffs in mid January in tropical comfort and far away from the production. A director, who specialized in live switched feed TV, was hired in Chicago to call the shots for the commercials.
I watched, with my “hot” second wife who later divorced me, from the Kaanapali Beach Hotel as “these incredibly boring” spots aired. In spite of the stress, the peaceful beauty of Maui left a lasting impression on me. Returning to LA I spoke my mind to the JWT people. I figured that halftime of the upcoming Super Bowl in New Orleans was going to be a very festive time. I suggested that, win or lose, we should have a couple of Mardi Gras crews ready to party in the wings of the set. At the end of the commercial they should “do their thing” with confetti and beautiful girls and bling and umbrellas to bring some festivity to the [IMO] rather drab analytical Schlitz commercial.
Nobody paid any attention to my ideas.
On January 25, 1981 the Oakland Raiders became the first wild card playoff team in NFL history to win the Super Bowl, beating the Philadelphia Eagles 27-10. Schlitz, “the beer that made Milwaukee famous” tied Michelob in the last seconds of voting [50 voters pulled the switch for Schlitz] but never regained it’s prowess as Americas #1 brewer. It was bought by Stroh Brewery Company in 1982. Videography Studios went into rapid decline and ,in the summer of 1982, I turned the keys to the place over to Videography’s financial backers and staff and, as they say “Here today. Gone to Maui”. I later learned that the vaults of production masters were looted and much of the equipment was “appropriated” by trusted staffers.
On Maui I opened up a little bike rental business in Lahaina and became “Cruiser Bob” . . . a guy going downhill for a living, on bicycles, with a video camera.
Was the “Great American Beer Test” the most “damaging” Super Bowl ad of all time? After doing the research and writing for this article I’ve decided that the Schlitz campaign was the best thing to ever happen to me. It got me out of tinsel town and away from a shallow marriage. It taught me that every setback is an opportunity to begin a new life!
I still hope that my kids will someday forgive me for being an absentee dad.
Posting this pretty picture of the far side of Haleakala Volcano was my way of stalling writing about anything substantive until returning from a two month “rite of passage” to the Philippines, Hawaii [especially Maui] and Las Vegas where we attended the Consumer Electronics Show. When I say “we” it means me and my dog!
Finally arriving home in mid January, we ran smack into a series of cold rain storms. So contemplation indoors substituted for outdoor activities as the storm passed. By any accounting there was plenty going on in world affairs and US Politics to keep vidiots occupied.
We have compiled quite a list of subjects to tackle including a vidiots opinion on global consumer electronics, a look at the frenzied world of SuperBowl commercials, plastic pollution of the Pacific Ocean and our take on how to make 21st Century video docu-dramas. The real “reality” programs.
All this is coming in February because we say so. You’ll have to sign up on our RSS or otherwise bookmark www.vidiots.us to find out whether we pull off this ambitious agenda. Sorry for sounding political.
For those who landed on this site because they followed a search lookup from some older entries, we apologize for the great crash of 2009. We did an update on our site coding and somehow managed to trash many older entries.
“In order to provide immediate jobs across America, it is hereby ordered that all gas stations be attendant serviced and that self-serve gasoline, while still an option for consumers, will not be discounted . . . thereby creating millions of jobs in the USA!”
If something, like say a “Wardrobe Malfunction” occurred than the censor would cut the tape on the spot and the network would switch to a backup generic Schlitz commercial. Pretty wild and crazy stuff!
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